Yeah. Still alive. Always still alive.

I know it takes me like six months to build up the emotional constitution to write on this blog, and I'm sorry, but not really, because in a way I am only apologizing to myself for being a wimp because nobody reads this. I am going to try a new strategy. Talk less, and maybe people will give more of a shit.

So what's happened to me recently?

Well, since most of what I look forward to are holidays, let's talk about the most recent.

The Fourth of July.

You may ask, "but Gary? Are you American? Why would you celebrate an American holiday as someone who is from Hell?"

Shut up. I celebrate any holiday that will take my mind off of me being me, so one where a bunch of cheaply made explosives are blowing up everywhere and drowning out the horrible, grating voices of everyone around me and Cerberus' awful barking is particularly appealing.

Here's what happened. The first bottle rocket I lit went off and hit me straight in the eye.

I tried to go to bed, but then the fireworks kept me up. And after the fireworks kept me up, Cerberus barked all night. Finally, I just took like thirty sleeping pills and passed out. I woke up this afternoon.

So good morning. Happy fourth. I woke up with a headache. I am gonna try and sleep this off for like three months.